Setting Boundaries

Often in life we let people and situations over step the supposed boundaries we have in place.... it happens for a number of reasons. Sometimes its out of love for that person; maybe its because someone need more attention/assistance in a specific area. Majority times, if your like me, you don't even realized its happened. Being available to say, a friend or family member, is needless to say a part of the job of being in their lives. Yet when being available to aid that person in need becomes more of a burden then a joy, that 's when you  know that a boundary has been crossed. I myself struggle with wanting to help so much, that I have a hard time recognizing when I'm being used or taken advantage of. I guess it feeds into the whole theory of "Taking someone Kindness for Weakness"... For most people the act of giving, being a shoulder to cry on and often times helping to find the solution to problems are often the situations that boundaries are crossed most.

So how do we stop this from happening? Honestly, we can't because as long as there are lines to be crossed, there will be people who will go the distance. Moreover, the problem lies not in the crossing of said boundary but in the acknowledgment that there are, in fact, Boundaries. When a boundary has been crossed you most often times feel embarrassed, used, exhausted or drained, confused, upset or downright distraught. When these feelings become overwhelming its time for both parties to acknowledge what happened and find a way to resolve or dissolve the problem. When this crucial step isn't taken, it leads to other issues amongst the two parties involved.

So to alleviate all of the confusion and to keep friendships/relationships in-tact I'm going to start to follow (I recommend if this applies to you to do the same) a few rules: Be honest. Always be willing to let someone know when they have crossed the line, how will they know if its never said? Which leads me into my next point, never assume! We are not mind-readers so if something has been done that has ( for example) made you feel disrespected... don't assume they know what got you two to that point, explain it to them. Lastly, make yourself open to being willing to work to a resolution or be willing to walk away. Boundaries are important because their apart of what makes you unique. Allowing anyone, be it family or friend or Co-worker, to cross those lines with you is not ok... not vocalizing why it's not ok is even worse. Afterall, if your not willing to stand for something you fall for anything.